Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
