Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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