I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
