i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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