I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
