I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
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