Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
