i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize