thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
