Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
