I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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