Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
