update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
