I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
