Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
