I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
