Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
