see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
