we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Those nachos came to me in a dream
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
