whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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