either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
