I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
