I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize