Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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