There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize