is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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