I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
