Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
