i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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