I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
