i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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