i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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