Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
