The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
