we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
