How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
