Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
