Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
