who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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