I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
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Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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