I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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