I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
