We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
