Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
