No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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