Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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