can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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