Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we're so committed to being not committed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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