I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
