You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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