So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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