Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's intense
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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