Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
