just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
