Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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