when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
