): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
