Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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