doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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