If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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